Friday, April 25, 2008

How the Captain Saves the Ship of State

Dear George,

The ship of state is sinking. The sea of oil upon which it has cruised is growing shallower and shallower, and as the oil is drained, the rocky shoals that will tear the ship's hull asunder lurk just beneath the surface even as the capital that fueled it is wasted as the the ship struggles against the headwinds of indebtedness and insolvency.

One of the more amusing side effects of this pending disaster is the blind faith the passengers have in the captain’s ability to steer a steady course out of this sea of troubles.

George, George, George, they simply do not understand how it works.

Once the captain realizes his ship is sinking, he initiates a three-step protocol. First, he steals as much of the ship’s silverware as his pockets can hold, then he throws an old lady overboard so he can take her seat in the lifeboat, and finally, he abandons ship while the dazed passengers continue to look to the quarter deck for their salvation.

In the real world, captains may go down with their ships. In the make believe world of politics and commerce this never happens, especially if the corporate headquarters can be moved to Dubai.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


mark hoback said...

Ah, you've missed your Burroughs lesson. Before he throws the old lady overboard, he steals her gown, so he can leave with the women and children.

Case Wagenvoord said...

Damn! Why didn't I think of that?

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

especially if the corporate headquarters can be moved to Dubai.

I swear I heard a comedic snare, bass drum & cymbal crash at the end of that line.