Wednesday, June 3, 2009

More Decadent Behavior

Where will it all end? First there was porn, then the promiscuous sex of the sixties, followed by gay marriage. Now the nation is facing an epidemic of teenage hugging!

That's right, hugging!

According to a recent issue of The New York Times, America’s high school students are now greeting each other with a hug. Think of it! All those budding boobies pressed against all those hormone-soaked male chests. It can only lead to a spike in teen pregnancies (or, in schools where abstinence is preached, oral sex).

No to worry, though! America’s educators are on it. According to the Times, “[S]chools…wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching…have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule.” (Admittedly, it’s hard to knock someone up in three seconds unless you’ve been at sea for a long, long time.)

God bless our schools! I’ve always said that America’s youth manage to grow into decent human beings in spite of the best efforts of our educators.

--Case Wagenvoord