Saturday, December 15, 2007

New Age Aging Anew

Dear George

The old leaders of old controlled their subjects by wielding fear like a cudgel. New Age leaders control their subjects by wielding fear like a scalpel. This new-age fear reaches its peak efficiency when the subjects believe they are not afraid when they really are, but they are loathe to admit it because they have internalized the belief that their leader is so benign and so compassionate that he would do nothing to frighten his subjects when he is doing all in his power to scare the shit out of them without their realizing that their shit is being scared out of them.

(I’m still a little stoned from last night, George, so bear with my syntax)

The key to utilizing this new-age benign fear is to encourage a sense of isolation in your subjects. In a situation of real fear, such as a physical attack or a holdup, the first thing that happens is that the victim immediately erects an impregnable wall that encloses only him and the perpetrator to the exclusion of all else, which makes the perpetrator’s job all that easier. There ain’t nobody what’s going to yell “Help!” with a gun shoved in their face.

One of life’s little paradoxes is that the more imaginary the fear, the more the wannabe victim’s sense of isolation increases. Conversely, the more isolate an individual is, the more prone he is to imaginary fears.

Hoc est ergo propter non illigimati carborundum, the mission of the New Age Leader must be to increase his subjects sense of isolation through which their need for imaginary fears grows because how the fuck else to you hold back the boredom of being pretty damn much isolated other than scaring yourself shitless which can only be done if you are so unconnected that you are totally devoid of a soothing breast to rest you head on while a cooing voice assures you that God is in his heaven, George Bush is in the White House and all is well in the kingdom.

For that matter, I must say that your total incompetence has been absolutely sterling in making both America and the world terrified of what your next grandiose scheme might be, not to mention your bullying of the congress which has them so cowed that they have become isolated and alienated from the constituents who elected them in the first place.

George, you are truly the model for the new-age leader of the future. Those who are waiting in the wings to govern will surely study your every move and will hone and perfect the one skill necessary for the leader of today: a sociopathic ineptitude.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones

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