Friday, March 14, 2008

The Goodness of Evil in a Good World

Dear George,

All statesmen are liars. The world would freeze up and become mired in peace if they did not distort, fabricate, spin, inflate, deflate, break treaties, propagandize, rationalize, deny, label, demonize, exploit and, in general, bail bullshit as if it were sinking the ship of state.

But you, Big Guy, are the exception, because you have uttered one statement that is absolutely true: that you are a righteous man who talks to God.

Extended conversations with God are what produce the world’s badasses. Every bomb that explodes today does so in the name of somebody’s God. That is because there is no such thing as evil. (Keep this between us girls. Efficient marketing tools are grounded in fantasy, and evil is one of the best.) Evil is simply good carried to the point of absurdity. Christianity started out as a force for good. Then Constantine made it the state religion of the Roman Empire. That is when the church discovered political power and immediately adopted a policy of salvation through annihilation. This policy is still operative, but now it goes under the rubric of “spreading democracy.” (You have given a new and deeper meaning to “Live Free or Die”.)

Because evil is simply good gone mad, it follows that every action you have taken has been an expression of the good and the pure. And nobody can question the purity of your motives. Saints don’t do nuance.

You are the Word, and the Word was made flesh and dwells among us. It is your Word that must be spread to the far corners of the earth. It is your Word and your Truth that are dumped on the just and the unjust alike, astride the cluster bombs that tumble earthward like snowflakes falling upon a barren landscape.

You are the personification of statesmanship. Never has the good flourished so as it has under your guidance. Continue as you are, O Captain, as our Messiah who will carry good to the mountaintop where it will achieve its greatest purity.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

Saints don’t do nuance.


Case Wagenvoord said...

You're just asking for a bolt of lightening between the cheeks.

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

"Bring `em on!"

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

The lightening bolts, not the cheeks.

Case Wagenvoord said...

Thanks for the clarification.

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

Ha! I don't know why, but that response caused me to laugh hard! Oh my. I might need more coffee...