Wednesday, June 4, 2008

You light up my life.

Dear George,

You are the shining light that illumines the black miasma of my soul. You are my teacher and my guide, my refuge from the lousy shit I smoke. You are Viagra™ for my soul.

How firm is your grasp of evil. You and your minions realize that pure evil requires a supreme act of self-delusion. A man becomes capable of evil as soon as he convinces himself that God, history and destiny are on his side.

This is the great intellectual shell game that periodically purges the earth of its surplus population. In truth, God doesn’t take sides, history doesn’t give a shit and there is no destiny, only a blind momentum driven by ego, greed and stupidity. But, we are not concerned with truth, only with results. Truth never won a war or an election.

O how beautifully you’ve joined hands with the church to cripple Christianity by reducing Christ’s teachings to happy talk about the “Good News.” Let the people associate Christianity with “happiness” and they will never bother plunging into the pain-in-the-ass work required for redemption. Christ didn’t offer good news; he demanded we destroy our fucking lives by turning ourselves inside out! Thank god nobody listened!

Crusades, George! That’s what we need, scads and scads of crusades! Flogging wedge issues is better than bread and circuses. It distracts the masses and blinds them to the many injustices you have turned loose upon the land.

May God bless you and your manly efforts to exploit the faith while your minions empty the public treasury.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

Is there a book of the bible that I am missing, if I owned a bible I'd me missing that is?

Is it the book that was supposed to follow Leviticus or Deuteronomy? You know the lost book of the bible? Testosteronus or Testosterony?

I think I heard about this "missing book" on the Discovery channel or maybe it was Mad TV...? Either way, it is interesting you should quote from it. It’s like a kick in the nutty sack it was!

Anonymous said...

The best one-sentence summary of Jesus' teaching I've ever seen!

Case Wagenvoord said...

I think it was Testeronomy. It was discovered in a brothel in Cairo November of 2000 A.D.

That's why there aren't many Chrisians in the world

Anonymous said...

Regarding history, consider this quotation from Mark Helprin's "A soldier of the Great War":

In history, will is only an illusion and success does not last. You can only do your best in the short time you have. If you decide to remake the world you’ll just end up killing people out of revolutionary impatience or triumphalism.

(Helprin, btw, was once one of Reagan's speech writers. Regardless, this certainly sums up the error of the Bush administration.)

Case Wagenvoord said...

Someone once said that a nation becomes a great power to fight a great war. The way a nation stays a great power is by not fighting a great war. Or a small one, for that matter.