Friday, October 31, 2008

Sarah's Crusade

Dear George,

Let’s talk some more about Sarah, that jewel in the crown of right wing fringe thinking. I spoke, yesterday, of the need to increase her crossover appeal, and today I would like to address some specific strategies for making this a reality.

So, lean forward, put your elbows on your desk, knit your brow and concentrate, because we’re going round and round the barn, again.

Our politicians and leaders are fond of saying that America is a Christian nation. They are wrong. America is a Christianist nation. Christians are those who follow the Tao of Jesus of Nazareth and integrate his teachings into their daily life. This is why they are a splinter group that is rarely heard from.

Christianists, on the other hand, practice a Christianism that repositions faith as an ideology by leeching the faith of it mealy-mouth teachings. When a Christianist says turn the other cheek, he means turn the other’s cheek with a fistful of knuckles.

The bottom line is that the Sermon on the Mount makes for pretty hymns, but lousy politics. Christianism is the lusty singing of “Onward Christian Soldiers”; it is an army led by a Jesus pumped full of theological steroids. Christians preach; Christianists kick ass.

Christian love soothes and comforts. It feeds the hungry, clothes the naked and comforts the afflicted. Christianist love is a firestorm that burns away the chaff leaving only the grain. The inquisition had the stake; Christianist America has napalm.

The hands of the Christian heal; the hands of the Christianist are so caked with blood it is impossible to tell where the finger ends and the nail begins.

That, George, is the force that will put Sarah in the White House in 2012. Forget this “Country First” bullshit. It’s “God First” that will get America’s blood up. Let Sarah become the flag bearer for a mighty Crusade that will not rest until it has made the world safe for an American White Male Protestantism that purifies as it destroys.

We are balanced on the abyss of another Great Awakening when Christianism will roll across the world like the Black Death rolled across Medieval Europe. It is a force that will define freedom as ideological purity and will purge all that is not holy and pure.

Nothing redeems a sinner faster than an untimely death.

So, break out your Bible, Big Guy, take off your clothes and get ready to be beamed up to heaven. The End Times, they’re a coming.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


Anonymous said...

I've always admired an American's ability to deny the facts in favour of a truth that suit them.

Chritianity epitomises this talent.

Case Wagenvoord said...

Good heavens! Facts are too real.

Anonymous said...

Once more, Case, you've got it exactly right in distinguishing between Christians and Christianists. My dad is the latter. I'm trying hard to be the former.

Case Wagenvoord said...

It's tough being part of a splinter group.

Anonymous said...

It's going to be finish of mine day, except before ending I am reading this impressive post to improve my experience.

Also visit my webpage ...

Anonymous said...

Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog
posts. After all I'll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

Here is my blog ... how to Detox your body

Anonymous said...

Hey there! I could have sworn I've been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it's new to me.
Anyhow, I'm definitely delighted I found it and I'll be
book-marking and checking back often!

My weblog ::

Anonymous said...

Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google,
and found that it is really informative. I'm gonna watch out for brussels. I'll be grateful if you continue this in future.
Many people will be benefited from your writing.

Here is my page; pirater Un compte facebook

Anonymous said...

Thanks to my father who shared with me on the topic of this webpage, this blog is actually awesome.

Here is my homepage: youtube video

Anonymous said...

This is my first time visit at here and i am in fact impressed to read everthing at one place.

my homepage

Anonymous said...

Hi there i am kavin, its my first time to commenting
anywhere, when i read this piece of writing i thought i could
also create comment due to this good paragraph.

my website: voice recorder

Anonymous said...

Hey! I stumbled this website on Google. I am posting to find which theme you are using on this web page,
I would like to have the same theme so I can put it
on my web page (stardom hollywood hack).