Tuesday, November 4, 2008

It's Here!

Dear George,

Well, it’s here at last, that day when the proles tumble into democracy’s sandbox and pretend they’re free citizens casting a free vote that will actually change something.

It’s a quadrennial sham that keeps pundits gainfully employed as they prattle on and on about anything and everything as long as it has nothing to do with any substantive issues.

This year’s campaign is different in one respect in that even though you have spent eight years totally fucking up America by turning it into a giant pork barrel for your cronies, the media really hasn’t raked you over the coals. Your Middle East quagmires are barely mentioned, and your name never comes up in discussions of our trashed economy

Your innocence is assured because you have become a nonperson.

But, you played your role well as a front man for the rabid ideologues who wanted to make America the New Rome and in the process have made her the New Haiti.

I’ve been doing my part for the cause by registering as many voters as I can. Believe me, I’m dead certain these voters will go for you.

However, I do have to get down to the county clerk’s office and make a few corrections. Flee-Fornication Smyth was born in 1986, not 1686, and Jebediah Johnson was born in 1980, not 1780.

The lesson there is don’t register graveyards whilst stoned.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones

P.S. I assume you have all your ducks in a row should the election go the wrong way.


Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

President elect Obama!

Case, I firmly believe you have had a great influence on many in order for this amazing moment in history! I for one know that you have influenced me in a very positive way and I want to thank you.

Now let's roll up our sleeves and begin to work harder than these past eight years to ensure that never again do we slip so near the abyss...

Peace and thank you for bringing Belacqua Jones into my life,

Case Wagenvoord said...


Many thanks for your kind words, but we must not overlook your efforts and the efforts of hundreds of thousands of other bloggers, each of whom contributed their part to changing the political landscape.

Now our task is to hold Obama's feet to the fire and move him more to the left. The country needs a radical change in diredtion, and we will be instrumental in influencing it.