Friday, October 24, 2008

The Sordid, Inside Story of Creation

Dear George,

I am saddened to see the teaching of Intelligent Design losing ground in our nation’s schools, though it doesn’t surprise me. The theory has one fatal flaw: If the Intelligent Designer was so intelligent, how do you explain the creation of Man, with its all of his brutish nastiness and innate stupidity?

The reason for this flaw is that the biblical creation story is the censored version. It doesn’t tell the whole, sordid story of how we came into being. For the inside story, we have to turn to the Gnostic version.

According to the Gnostics, all of creation has evolved from Sophia, the Godess of Wisdom. She is the creator mother of the universe. And she was a busy little bee, flitting here and there in the cosmos creating 24/7.

On day, she was a little off her game. Who knows why; maybe she had PMS, or something. Whatever the cause, she screwed up and created a demigod who was long on power tripping and jealousy and short on compassion. She named her mistake Jehovah.

The first thing Jehovah did was to create his own little world in which He placed Adam as a little toy He could dump on whenever the mood struck him. This upset Sophia, so she sent Eve to talk some sense into Adam.

It didn’t work out. Eve mistook the Garden of Eden for the mall and started shopping.

So, Sophia sent the serpent to wake up Eve.

The rest, as they say, is history.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones

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