Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Return of the Lip-Sticked Pig

She's back! My Wingnut beauty with the finest boobs in on the American political scene has returned. Yes, Sarah Palin surfaced in Hong Kong speaking to a group of global investors where she scored a trifecta by proving she was alive, could find Hong Kong and could speak to a group investors for more than five minutes without being thrown off the stage.

At least we think she spoke. The event was shrouded in so many layers of secrecy, nobody’s sure she even showed up. The press was barred and no copies of her speech were distributed. Only selected dribbles of her speech were allowed to leak out. (One of the dribbles was that she assured the investors that many average Americans don’t like health care reforms that infringe on our free enterprise system. By average Americans she meant CEOs making mega-billion dollar salaries. In her world, that’s about as average as you can get.)

An advisor denied that her appearance had any political overtones. She just happened to be in the neighborhood and dropped by for a chat.

What is so thrilling about her appearance is that it marks the kickoff of a new breakthrough in political campaigning. For decades, there has been talk of marketing a presidential candidate as a commodity like deoderant. The downside is that the candidate actually has to appear in public. With the GWB campaign, this turned out to be a disaster.

Political operatives learned their lesson, so with Sarah Palin we could well be seeing the introduction of the virtual presidential campaign in which the candidate is never seen in person until Inauguration Day. The campaign is conducted in a hermetically sealed bubble. During speeches the press is confined to a Free Speech Zone; after the appearance, aides handout press releases describing the appearances that the press is expected to print verbatim if they want future access to the Free Speech Zone.

Hell, if we can reduce war to a video game, why can’t we do the same for a presidential campaign? There’d be no more embarrassing slips of tongue, and the press releases would paint a picture of a candidate with an intellect is as big as her boobs.

However, the important thing is that she’s returned. If she keeps popping up, it may be time to bring Belacqua out of retirement.


TAO Walker said...

And once the 'supremes' OK full corprorate "rights," no doubt some of 'em will get together to sponsor her campaign as a "reality" show. Plenty of CONtrol over "access" in that need to make wxcuses to the so-called MSM, either.


Case Wagenvoord said...

The right has what it needs, a good looking GWB.