Saturday, June 7, 2008

The Effecient Mindset of the Efficient Leader

Dear George,

Let’s chit-chat about leadership. It will be idle chit-chat because you are the very personification of the efficient leader. The key word, here, is “efficient.” Not all leaders are efficient. Some, such as those who lead by consensus, are downright inefficient.

The efficient leader is he who gets things done quickly, no matter how dire the consequences of his decisiveness. His unique gifts allow him to take quick action without becoming bogged down in complexities and nuance.

The efficient leader is efficient because of certain force fields that bubble up from the bowels of his soul. It is these force fields that pump him full of the psychic steroids that allow him to transcend the arbitrary social restrictions that bind and imprison the masses.

Let us examine each of these force fields.

· You need a pumped up ego. You can’t lead shit if you don’t believe yourself invincible.
· You gotta dream big dreams of unlimited success, power, brilliance, and all that other bullshit.
· You’ve gotta believe you are “special.” It really helps if you are certain God called you to your leadership position.
· You love being loved unconditionally and have little patience for those who fail to exhibit this love.
· An excessive sense of entitlement permeates your inflated ego. You are who you are because you are entitled to be who you are.
· You are deft at manipulating others in order to fulfill the big dreams you’ve dreamed.
· You are so focused on your mission, or the lack of one, that you don’t give a shit about others.
· Because you are so gifted, you are justifiably haughty and arrogant.

Now, some shrinks might point out that the above force fields are the symptoms of a narcissistic personality disorder as found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV-R).

Don’t let it throw you, Big Guy. Just listen to one writer who catalogs all that this disorder has accomplished though history:

Class structures of rich, middle, and poor class; capitalist economic structures which privilege a wealthy few and disadvantage the masses as well as pillage, plunder and seek to master the natural environment; religious hierarchies which promulgate gender inequalities based upon a superior male deity and human male superiority versus female inferiority…(and the list goes on and on.)

The simple, historical fact is that efficient leadership is a malignant mindset, without which the world would be a poor place rift through and through with a freedom bordering on anarchy.

Not everyone with these force fields throbbing through their glands achieve positions of leadership and influence. Some of us who are touched by this force fail to achieve leadership roles because of our love of controlled substances and a casual approach to personal hygiene. For consolation, we turn to our whores, as discounted as they are washed out, upon whom we void our fantasies of power and domination.

And as we pass out on our filthy mattresses, we send a prayer of gratitude up to God, thanking him for those of you atop the pyramid who give order and meaning to our meaningless lives.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


Anonymous said...

I read this blog and a few others regularly - and today, oh joy, Belacqua synchronizes nicely with Corporate Crime Reporter:

"Recent scholarship on white-collar crime described eight personality characteristics that fuel white collar criminal activity: need for control, bullying, charisma, fear of falling, company ambition, lack of integrity, narcissism, and a lack of social conscience."

Leaders always need followers, though...

Case Wagenvoord said...

It's the followers who shovel the heavy shit. Where would Hitler have been without Goebbels or Eichmann?

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

Ha! History would be so different without such shit shovelers. Just look at the good ol US of A.

Shit Shovelers Union: Falwell, Reed, Rice, Rummy, Powell, Congress, Senate, Supreme Court, Religious Neocon Party (RNP), Coulter, Malkin, Bill O, Robertson, Libby, etc etc and the shit shoveler extraordinaire- Cheney.

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