Saving America from Another Tom Paine

Dear George,

An iron rage is squeezing my balls! How much longer must America suffer the slings and arrows of dissident radicals spewing their subversive prose across the breadth and width of the internet? Why doesn’t the Senate act? On October 23, over four-hundred patriots in the House of Representatives passed HR 1955, the Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorist Act that will add thought control to the arsenal of weapons in our fight against gay Muslim abortionists. I am happy to report that the tally included 219 craven Democrats

Sadly, the Senate version, S 1959 is languishing in that chamber. We need action, George, and we need it now! now! now! You’ve got to hold some feet to the fire!

The importance of the bill struck me when I came across this rebellious piece by Sara Robinson. O, the terror of it! The nerve or her suggesting that when a people’s freedoms are pissed on, when their prosperity is threatened, when they are exploited and oppressed, when their leaders are Bozos, when the poor do their part to make the rich richer, when thinking is discouraged, when the country is bankrupt and when its bankers are scam artists, a people will revolt.

This is why that bill is so crucial. You have pissed off enough people across a broad enough spectrum of society that in the absence of this bill you could very well have a revolt on your hands. And in the eyes of the Corporatist State, revolt, no matter how peaceful, is a subset of terrorism. And in such a revolt, all our revolutionaries would surely be homegrown. This could well hinder your efforts to transition America to corporate democracy which is a commercial transaction in which the public trades its political freedoms for the freedom to consume.

Believe me, George, had you been running the show in eighteenth-century British North America when Tom Paine published his Common Sense, the man would have been rendered before the ink was even dry!

Our way of life is on the line! What we need now are leaders who are firm of eye and scowled of brow spinning their fantasies of realpolitik that bring out the basest emotions of our people. What we need now is the immediate passage of S 1959.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones