The Parable of the Third Mouse

Dear George,

When our corporate oligarchy decided it was time to dismantle the middle class, they knew that they needed more than indebted prosperity. What they needed was a parable that would sugar-coat the bitter pill the middle class would soon be swallowing.

Jesus told parables to liberate; our oligarchy told parables to exploit. The one they came up with was a moving tale titled “Where’s My Cheese?”

It is a stirring morality tale of two mice. Every day, both mice must run a maze to find their cheese, and every day the cheese is in the same place.

One day, the researchers moved cheese. One of the mice kept asking, “Where’s my cheese?" while the other mouse, a real go-getter, kept looking until he found it. The moral of the story was that the second mouse prospered while the first mouse starved to death.

Of course, the parable left out the third mouse, the mouse on steroids that reduced the maze to kindling and beat the shit out of the researchers until they told him where the cheese was.

The most effective parables are those that are carefully edited.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones