Friday, May 9, 2008

Saving Bolivia from Political Democracy

Dear George,

Let us understand one thing from the get-go: The very foundation of life is democratic corporatism, because life is all about the freedom to accumulate as much as possible and about nurturing the greed that turns financial wizards into financial retards.

A corollary of this ground of beingness is the question of who is best suited by breeding and acculturation to reap the benefits of democratic corporatism. An empirical examination of history tells us that it is males of a northern European extraction who are best qualified to maximize pathological accumulation.

Every pyramid needs a base. Were there no base to be exploited, the pyramid would crumble, and when the dust settled all that would remain would be an Elysian Field. This is why egalitarian movements are a threat to the established order.

This brings me to the problem of Bolivia. For centuries, Bolivia was a model of an orderly society grounded on the tried and true principles of democratic corporatism. Prior to the arrival of the Europeans the country had been a hotbed of ignorance and savagery, overrun by natives who had little or no appreciation for capital accumulation.

It wasn’t’ until the arrival of the Spanish that we saw the creation of an orderly pyramid with the Indians forming the base that supported an European apex. The Europeans thrived; the Indians didn’t. Productivity ruled and latifundios multiplied like bacteria in a Petri jar. In the end, a hundred families of European extraction owned 25 million of hectares of land, while two million natives were given the challenge of making do on five million hectares. It was also the Europeans who so successfully exploited Bolivia’s natural resources of natural gas and iron ore.

In short, Bolivia was a utopia of corporatism and European capital, at least until 2005.

That is when Bolivia elected its first Indian leader, Evo Morales and his Movement for Socialism (MAS). Disaster followed as Morales started to nationalize resources that had, for decades, been under foreign control. Four-hundred and seventy years of tradition went down the tubes. Cast into the dustbin was the established tradition that indigenous peoples are simply fodder that exists for the nourishment of democratic corporatism.

The problem with natives is that they fail to understand the distinction between corporate democracy and political democracy. Corporate democracy stabilizes; political democracy destabilizes.

Well, let me tell you George, when it comes to greed and exploitation, you won’t find many Europeans asleep at the switch. The Bolivian province of Santa Cruz is a hotbed of Eurocorporatism. These good people were not going to stand by and let a bunch of brown-skinned natives take over their land and their resources.

Bolivia’s province of Santa Cruz is crawling with both families of European extraction and natural resources. Its citizens considered it an affront to have some damn Indian taking away property that they had legally stolen.

On Sunday, they struck a blow for democracy and freedom by voting to separate themselves from Bolivia, thus freeing themselves from under the oppressive heel of political democracy.

Sure, the vote was illegal, and was condemned by many Latin American countries. But hell, democratic corporatism always thrives when it is breaking a law or two. Productivity is simply another word for theft.

Now is the time for your administration to show its mettle by arranging for some massive arms sales to the freedom fighters of Santa Cruz as they do their part to stomp out the specter of political democracy that has started to sweep through Latin America. We can’t have a bunch of natives trashing a Euromerican playground.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


Unknown said...

The problem with satire, is too often the object simply doesn't understand the ironic/satirical part of it, and acts upon the words which are the opposite of the intent.
George might hear the words flying over his head, but I doubt that he or his enablers 'gets' it, or if they do, could care less.
They like having the opportunity to keep on thieving everything that they can get, in every manner possible. It is the only way they can honor their heritage.
Nice work--keep it up!

Case Wagenvoord said...


I'm always mindful of Tom Lehrer's comment that political satire died when Henry Kissinger won the Noble Peace Prize.