Cronies and Cavers Battle It Out

Dear George,

My, my, isn’t it shaping up to be a real nail biter as we approach Super Tuesday and come closer to seeing which member of the Corporatist Party will be crowned as our next president. The Crony faction of the party has McCain and Romney butting heads while the Caver faction has Hill-Bill trying to out-Rove Rove in their bid to topple Obama.

Meanwhile, the pundits pund hot air while the media continues in their heroic effort to divert the public’s attention from the real issues facing the country.

The beauty of this whole project is that the media evaluates all of the candidates, regardless of which faction they belong to, on everything except their inherent ability to lead the country in a new directions. This is because the last thing any of them intend to do, if elected, it lead the country in anything that resembles a new direction. The entire electoral process has but one goal in mind, and that is to protect the status quo.

This is why the media is so important to the process. Three candidates presented a threat to the status quo: Edwards, Paul and Huckabee. The media effectively marginalized all three.

Of the four candidates still standing, none has even hinted that a major cause of the manifold problems facing America is our bloated defense establishment. Maintaining this white elephant is what has brought us to the brink of economic ruin. We are in hock to Asia so we can continue to develop weapon systems that are useless to fight the counterinsurgency wars we are facing in Iraq and Afghanistan.

As soon as you were elected, you realized that the only way to keep the defense trough full was to ground our diplomacy on military might instead of statesmanship. Your efforts have made us the most reviled nation on earth, which means we need an even bigger defense establishment, which means even more defense contacts. This is what has kept congressional cavers cowed: the fear of losing the pork that is so essential if they expect to be reelected.

Edwards doomed himself when the characterized your Eternal War of the Empty Policy to be a “bumper sticker.” Your Eternal War is a corporatist hen that is farting golden egg after golden egg. You don’t make chicken soup out of hens like that.

And this, ultimately, is what the election is all about—keeping the hen healthy and well fed. All the talk about universal health care and restoring the middle class to its former glory is so much fluff meant to hide the primary goal of the Corporatist Party, and that is the shredding of the social safety net so its filaments can be used to build a comfortable nest for the hen.

No man or woman can ever hope to lead our great country unless they are prepared to bend over and kiss the hen’s ass. Politicians in the past had to acquire a tast for bootpolish; today's politicians must acquire a taste for chicken shit. Failure to do so is what doomed Edwards, Paul and Huckabee. All you are going to hear from the remaining candidates is a lot of lip-smacking.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones