Saturday, April 12, 2008

In praise of the free market as it culls the herd.

Dear George,

How sweet is the movement of a free market; how efficiently it restores balance. No matter how violent the forces assailing it, it is constantly tipping towards equilibrium and balance. In this respect, the market is simply a reflection of nature, which is also in a constant quest for balance.

We are in an exciting age, George, because we are entering an era in which the free market will face its greatest challenge. The earth is under siege. Homo sapiens are crawling over its face like vermin. The earth is dying as 6.6 billion people strip her resources in their struggle to survive. The result is a resource depletion that could impact negatively on all of humanity if steps are not taken to restore balance.

Now it is a fact that in 2007 enough calories were produced to feed the world with enough left over to feed a population of ten billion people. With those kinds of numbers, we could kiss goodbye to whatever oil remains.

Life is out of balance, and it is time to take some proactive action. In other words, it is time to let the free market address the problem, and I am happy to say that it is already doing just that.

To allow the world’s caloric output to reach all the peoples of the world would be to court disaster. So the market has dictated a more productive use for some of this output. (When spinning this, it is important to speak of “output” instead of “food.” Food humanizes the problem, which is a no-no.)

The market’s solution to this problem is biofuels and beef. By diverting massive amounts of grain to ethanol production and feedlot cattle, we are encouraging a structural adjustment that will bring the world’s population down to a manageable level.

The greatest strength of the free market is its ability to ignore reality. The reality of this structural adjustment will be the cry of a starving baby. Spin silences the baby's cry by repositioning its suffering as a “market correction.”

Feed the poor? What kind of commie crap is that? It is not a question of “people” but of “demographics.” Specifically, it is a question of which demographic is best suited for survival. And the short answer to that it is the demographic with the most weapons systems.

(Just between us girls, we know that comparing market equilibrium to nature’s equilibrium is bullshit. There is one veritable found in the market that is not found in nature—sustained greed. In nature, the wolf may experience a passing moment of greed as it devours its prey, but as soon as its greed is sated, it returns to its den for a nap. In the market, greed is never sated, which is why the market will never achieve equilibrium. Believe me, George, were we to teach wolves how to sell short, nature would spin out of control in no time.)

But, I digress…

The bottom line is that we may sleep well tonight knowing that all over the world demographics are slowly starving so we might drive our SUVs the nearest supermarket and by a nice, thick Porterhouse for dinner. The starving are martyrs who are sacrificing themselves we can live the good life.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones

4 comments:

thepoetryman said...

In nature, the wolf may experience a passing moment of greed as it devours its prey, but as soon as its greed is sated, it returns to its den for a nap. In the market, greed is never sated, which is why the market will never achieve equilibrium. Believe me, George, were we to teach wolves how to sell short, nature would spin out of control in no time.

Loved the analogy.

Case Wagenvoord said...

It's a great concept, but I can't even get the damn wolf to look at the ticker, let alone read it.

Case Wagenvoord said...

It's a great concept, but I can't even get the damn wolf to look at the ticker, let alone read it.

thepoetryman said...

I heard you the first time. Sheesh.