Thursday, August 7, 2008

Old Men Rising

Dear George,

Those of us shuffling towards the end of our life-spans with death and senility whispering in our ears love the Big Dick. The man has discovered the Fountain of Youth.

The hardest thing about aging is standing hopelessly by as the bodily fluids slowly dry and turn to dust. The elastic vibrancy of youth becomes dried parchment, too creased and wrinkled to be written on. Thank God, there is a moisturizer that smoothes and softens.

The fluid that keeps the old young is bile, and the Big Dick has made it fashionable again. Bile firms the flesh and hardens the eye; it keeps the heart beating and aids the digestion. Take an old man suffering from an assortment of ailments and let him manifest a mean edge, and before you know it, his ailments are history.

Bile performs an invaluable service to the state because it enables old men to send the young off to die in useless wars. This is a culling of the herd that benefits the state by insuring the survival of the privileged who are able to get endless deferments. Meanwhile, the poor, all of whom are a drain of our social services, are killed, while those maimed or psychologically destroyed can be warehoused or ignored.

There was a time when the old were honored for their wisdom; now they are honored for their bile. For this, America’s seniors own the Big Dick their gratitude.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones

14 comments:

David M said...

Don't forget viagra. It to helps gives old men that feeling of power,control and renewed youth.

Case Wagenvoord said...

Viagra, hell! War's better.

Steve said...

Hmm. Might McCain, given his fits of bile and temper, be the next Dick?

Case Wagenvoord said...

He could well leave the Big Dick in the dust.

David M said...

Yeah unlike the Big Dick he'll be up front and in the drivers seat.

Steve said...

You mean he's not now? He might not be visibly up front since he spends a lot of time in his undisclosed location under a hill in Pennsylvania, but he's been driving little George around for some time.

David M said...

Your right about that. But if little George was on his own, could we actually be in a bigger mess? Is his ineptitude an act or is it for real? I've heard both sides to that argument.

thepoetryman said...

George's is an act. Acting stupid, of course, doesn't necessarily disqualify one from actually being stupid.

Bile! I'm not quite old enough yet to know exactly what it feels like, but I can tell you I certainly know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of bile! Certainly anyone that has been around since the sixties can attest to that.

Case Wagenvoord said...

George isn't stupid, he's simply floated so many lies he can no longer keep his ducks in a row.

thepoetryman said...

STUPID is as stupid is defined-

I think the 2nd through the 4th definitions of stupid fit George a bit better...

2. Characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless.
3. Tediously dull, esp. due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless.
4. Annoying or irritating.

Case Wagenvoord said...

"Julien possessed both a fiery soul and one of those astonishing memories which are so often combined with stupidity."
Stendhal
"The Red and The Black"

Would this be Cheney or Rove?

thepoetryman said...

I'd say the "combined" factor is certainly in play with the whole of the Bush cabal.

"To the Happy Few." or as George likes to call them, "His base"...

Anonymous said...

On a personal note, I am too bitter for even a Soylent Green cracker.

thepoetryman said...

anonymous,
Ha! That was indeed funny!