Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Big Dick sings of America.

Dear George,

The Big Dick sure knows how to pluck the strings of my heart. It twanged our National Anthem when he defended his disembowelment of our democratic republic in a recent interview Here is the purest expression of the Angry White Male vigorously pumping his meat in an attempt to force life into his waning potency.

In the Big Dick’s eyes, the Constitution is for pussies. Pissed off old men doesn’t need it. Iraq, torture, wiretapping, surveillance, the Patriot Act, the Military Commission Act and NPSD 51, which authorizes martial law if and when you see fit, are all part of the new order put in place to protect our freedoms.

The Big Dick understands that democracy and freedom are mutually exclusive. Democracy is rule by the mob; freedom is rule by a kleptrocracy that has shattered the shackles of legislative and constitutional restraint.

Of course, it must be admitted that he was aided and abetted by a castrated Congress that was so cowed it dropped its collective pants when the Big Dick whipped out his gelding knife.

I loved the creative use he made of that reeking red herring, 9/11. It is this that made him CEO of our corporatist state. (Who ever heard of shareholders running a corporation?)

And what CEO ever had his hands tied by a Supreme Court. He slammed it for overriding warrantless arrests and for demanding that terrorism suspects be protected by the Geneva Conventions.

But George, the crème de la crème was when he justified his rewriting of Articles I and II of the Constitution, thus destroying our republic. Traditionally Article I has been interpreted as giving the president the authority to “execute” laws passed by Congress and Article II states that the president is commander in chief of the armed forces, especially in time of war.

The Big Dick realized right away that this simply wouldn’t do. So, he made Congress a subset of the executive branch and put America on a permanent wartime footing so you could prance and posture as our ultimate military leader.

Some have called the interview his confession of wrong doing. It is not. It is a tribute to an administration that has made white guys proud to be white guys once more, all in the name of national security.

His machinations have become such an integral expression of our contemporary warp and woof that The New York Times buried his interview on page A-16 of its December 22 issue.

Merry Christmas, America!

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones

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