Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Cultural Purity

Dear George,

I’m going to get a little heady here, so pay attention.

The church defines a sacrament as an outward and visible symbol of an inward and spiritual grace. The difference between a symbol and a sign is that a symbol is an integral part of the reality it represents.

One of your handlers once pointed out that as an imperial overload, you create a reality that is not real but appears real simply because you are an imperial overlord. It follows that you also create the reality of which any given symbol is a part.

Nowhere is this is this refracted creation more manifest than in what you have done with the flag lapel pin. The flag you wear is not the flag of social justice, but of military prowess. It is not the flag of democracy but the flag of corporate management techniques. It is, however, the flag of freedom, the freedom of the few to exploit the many.

It is also becoming the flag of cultural purity as ICE agents continue to arrest and deport illegal aliens. Ours is not a salsa culture and your agents are engaged in a war to make sure it stays that way.

It is this obsession with cultural purity that is the real bond between the United States and Israel. Each of us, in our own ways, represents the pinnacle of Western Civilization, and each of us is determined to prevent its corruption by brown-skinned aliens.

The only difference between us is that Israel’s aliens shoot rockets while ours clean offices. Therefore, Israel needs a stronger methodology in dealing with its alien problem.

Call it what you may, but it is not racism! Any alien willing to get with the program and internalize our Western value system is welcomed with open arms. Your successor’s election proved that. Those who refuse to do so are deported, jailed or bombed out of existence. It’s a question of behavior and attitude, not race.

Mark my words, George, it is only a matter of time before the values that gave us World War I and II are the norm and the world enters a golden age of carnage and fat defense contracts.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


Jason said...

The Sarcasm is Wonderfully Palpable as usual. BHAHAHAHAHA!

Why is it that mocking with intelligent subtelty and informed facetiousness is so goddamned satisfying? lol

Case Wagenvoord said...

It's a creative way to focus your anger.