Forget Dr. Spock when dealing with Congress.

Dear George,

Sweet is propaganda’s Siren song. Softly it sings as it croons soothing lyrics of reassurance to its passive listeners. “You are safe,” it sings. “Your leader is strong and protective. He loves you and cares for you and will break any law to defend you. Nor will he be hesitant to disappear any who would undermine his loving protection by questioning his authority. He is your security. Without his strong arm you are in danger from the evil forces that would rape your women, kill you and sell your children into slavery.”

So much sweeter is propaganda’s song when its notes are written across the pages of a free press that dances to the leader’s tune and shores up his authority though allusion and suggestion.

Propaganda comes in many shapes. There is the strident propaganda of a Hitler, or The Big Lie repeated over and over until it becomes The Truth. There is propaganda that induces rage and propaganda that brings tears to the eyes.

Then there is the propaganda that is like a silent fart let loose in a crowded room that leaves a gentle trace of its stench that is barely noticeable amid the press of humanity crowded into a confined space. This is the style of propaganda The New York Times has mastered.

I was reminded of this when I stumbled across this bon mot in the Monday edition of the paper.

Three words into the above story, the Times laid its fart when it wrote, “In continued defiance of the White House, [House]Democratic leaders are…. (Emphasis mine)”

With a single slug of type, the paper has redefined our separation of powers. Congress no longer opposes or disagrees like a co-equal partner would do. Not any more, George! Now Congress defies its leader. It is your recalcitrant child who requires a firm hand and an occasional caning to correct its behavior.

Thank God we are a Christian nation that looks to the Bible instead of the Constitution. The Constitution is silent when it comes to dealing with a problem child; the Bible tells us exactly what to do.

It is right there, in Deuteronomy 21:20-21: “And they shall tell the elders of the village, ‘This our son is rebellious; he will not obey our voice.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So shall you purge evil from your midst.” (I have selectively edited this verse, which is the only way to correctly interpret the Bible.)

This is why I love the Bible. It offers simplistic solutions to complex problems. Not that I am suggesting you literally stone Congress, though the idea does have its merits. The point is that you don’t need them to rule. All power now rests in your feverish brain and you no longer need a throng of congressional do-gooders trying to trip you up.

The next time you call congressional leaders into the Offal Office for a dressing down, pass around a stone with the above verse chiseled into it. I’m sure they’ll get the point.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


[1] “House Steers Its Own Path on Wiretaps,” The New York Times, Tuesday, March 11, 2008, page A17.