Keeping the Dollar Afloat on a Sea of Death and Violence

Dear George,

When cries of the dollar’s demise echo through the land, many experts dismiss them by referencing the story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”. Nobody seems to remember that the goddamn wolf eventually showed up and blindsided the villagers.

It is true that American Imperial Corporatism is suffering from a slow process of internalized dry rot. We’ve danced our many dances, but now the servants are snuffing out the candles and the ballroom is slowly darkening. Both oil and the dollar are drying up.

The big concern in a situation such as this is crowd control.

It is here that we have several plusses working for us. We have a public that has internalized a key delusion that has made our prosperity possible, for they are convinced that all change represents progress and that all progress in represents advancement regardless of its consequences. This is given an additional dynamic by the deftness with which our corporatists have repositioned larceny as progress. Couple this with a belief that all progress is deterministic and you have a perfect formula for legalized pillage.

The unemployed factory worker, trying to keep food on his table by working as a Wal-Mart greeter, believes in his heart of hearts that his suffering was ordained by God so His City on the Hill might prosper and grow.

Progress’ siren call even seduces our movers and shakers. In their eyes they believe the piling debt upon debt and leveraging their asses to the hilt is progress in that the more debt they accrue the stronger they are, and that being able to keep their indebtedness off their books through complex financial instruments makes them even stronger.

Then there is one plus that guarantees the dollar will remain the world’s reserve currency no matter how worthless it is. As one writer explains it, “But economist Tim Congdon doesn’t think the dollar will significantly diminish in importance as, crucially, the US is still the leading exporter of military technology. As these sell in dollars, it makes sense for nations such as Taiwan to peg their currency to the greenback, or risk paying through the nose for the military hardware with a potentially fragile currency.”[1]

There’s our salvation, George. We gotta support the dollar by building more weapons systems that do their part in drying up the world’s oil supply in wars over oil so they can be used to fight more wars for more oil, which will require even more weapon systems to replace the trashed systems so they can fight more unnecessary wars and consume even more oil so they can spend more dollars, thus keeping our funny money strong for all of eternity or until the whole system collapses, whichever comes first. Nothing stimulates conflict like the need to sell weapons.

It is genius such as this that keeps humanity at the top of the food chain.

So, tell the Big Dick to firm up his plans for the Iran Enterprise. Death and violence are the steroids that keep the dollar bulked up.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones





[1] The Guardian. Richard Wachman, “Dollar chilled by rise of euro.” March 30, at http://www.guardian.co.uk/.