Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Eternal Emptiness of the Beautiful Mind

Dear George,

McCain’s going to win! I know everyone is looking for a Democratic sweep, but all of these dire predictions overlook one small fact—stupidity is electable. There are several factors that contribute to its appeal.

First, stupid people are consistent because they are too dumb to change their minds. To change one’s mind, one must be able to look at a complex problem, analyze its constituent elements and, based up on a rational analysis, reach a conclusion that differs from the conclusion one held five minutes ago.

The stupid person can’t be bothered with such nonsense, and the public hates it because it has to pay attention.

The second factor is the public’s shriveled attention span. This is a product of a decades of saturation by a media that has fled the printed word for the fleeting images that flicker across America’s omnipresent screens. Simpletons favor simple statements (“Drill,” “Bomb”) that play well with our comatose minds.

The last intelligent candidate to win the presidency was Clinton. However, his victory had nothing to do with his intelligence and everything to do with his ability to bullshit the public.

So tell your minions to rest easy. Obama’s intellect is the petard upon which he will hoist himself while McCain rides to an easy victory.

Today’s beautiful mind is an empty one.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


Anonymous said...

Don't forget the closet racists too.

Case Wagenvoord said...

Racism is part and parcel of the purity of the simple mind.

Rent Party said...

I am quite concerned that this may be true (that the dumber candidate is the more electable).

Case Wagenvoord said...

It does seem to be a pattern. This is what happens when the public doesn't pay attention.

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

Dumb and Dumber never looked so prophetic a flick before now...

Case Wagenvoord said...

And now we have dumbest