Saturday, August 16, 2008

Saving the World to Save Some of Ourselves

Dear George,

The high point of my day is getting off on the National Security Strategy for the United States (NSS). This is the baby that tells the world just how we’re going to fuck with them. It beats porn any day.

The NSS leads with that fundamental biblical truth, “Economic freedom is a moral imperative,” even if some must die so we can protect it. The right to own property is fundamental to human nature (our kind). Economic freedom promotes social stability by keeping the masses so impoverished and weakened that their sole concern is survival, not political agitation.

Free governments govern their states through the marginalization of the poor, which is why the best form of government is Authoritarian Democracy in which a free people freely elect the tyrant of their choice.

America does not attack free nations, which we define as any nation that allows us to shamelessly exploit it. Nations that resist this exploitation are evil and may be attacked preemptively. This is how we protect the American (corporate) people and preserve the American (corporate) way.

The NSS proposes a new Cold War whose aim is to spread Authoritarian Democracy to the world. Condi calls it “transformational democracy.” She elaborates by adding, “The fundamental character of regimes now matters more than the international distribution of power.”

So it’s in with paranoia and out with the balance of power diplomacy that has governed international relations since the Peace of Westphalia. It matters not that the world is against us as long as it’s our kind of world.

We don’t oppress; we partner, just as the hangman partners with the condemned man.

We must muster all of our assets for the struggle to come, from our missiles to our tanks to our prisons to our waterboards to our electrodes. Ours is the noblest mission the world has seen since the Europeans spread Christianity with the rack and the stake.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones


Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

We don’t oppress; we partner, just as the hangman partners with the condemned man.

Which is why we feel like shit half the time, those of us with a conscience that is, because we are partners with empire...

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go put five bucks of gas in my car so I can drive to Wal-Mart on my oil-based tires and buy a Chinese based household item that I just have to have!

Case Wagenvoord said...

You have my permission to do so as long as the item you are buying is absolutely useless.

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

Useless? Yes. But only after its first use. Will that work with you?

Case Wagenvoord said...

Sorry. No first use allowed. It doesn't count unless you buy it and throw it in the back of your closet as soon as you get home.

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

You are one tough bastard, Jones!