The One True Candidate of the One True Party

Dear George,

The life of a political pundit in not an easy life, especially during presidential campaigns, and the 2008 campaign is turning out to be a real bitch. The pundit must produce drama where there is none, suspense where there is none and conflict where there is none. He is forced to generate interest in a campaign that is not a campaign because there is but one candidate from one party in the race. The candidate’s name is Bill-Hill-Mitt and the party is America’s own Corporatist Party.

The anointed candidate has but one plank in the party platform, and that is the protection of the Federal Feeding Trough at which the candidate’s corporatist handlers fatten themselves. Bill-Hill-Mitt is brought and paid for, and it is the role of the corporately-owned pundits to create the impression of change where none exists.

Even as the world of finance capitalism collapses, there is nary a mention from Bill-Hill-Mitt about reregulating our corporatist clowns. There is a lot of talk about packages to stimulate the economy, which involve throwing peanuts to the proles and pumping billions into corporate coffers. The doctrine of personal responsibility is for proles only, and not for corporatists.
It is a comfort to know that the candidate will continue to treat financial retards as geniuses.

The last thirty years have seen the successful execution of a brilliant financial scam unmatched in history. Our corporate wizards finally figured out that the only way to gut the New Deal was to gut America. Thus was America sold on the virtues of Globalization. With Globalization, the outflow of American capital began. Manufacturing fled overseas until American industry was but a pathetic shell of its former self. The money drain continued as these newly-minted overseas manufacturers sent their merchandise back to us so an increasingly impoverished middle and working class could go further into debt to buy the stuff they use to earn good money for manufacturing. This, our corporate media dubbed "prosperity."

We can count on Bill-Hill-Mitt to continue the process. Sure, they will mouth the pieties that will soothe the proles into thinking things will “change” as soon as Hill-Bill-Mitt takes office. And while our new president does the “life is good” soft shoe, it will be business as usual with America and her people on sale to the highest bidder.

True, there have been some flies in the ointment named, Edwards, Paul and Huckabee who are trying to roil the populist pot. Given the financial meltdown facing America, they could prove troublesome. That is where a corporately owned media pays off. They have successfully airbrushed these troublemakers from the front page. Now all the coverage is of Bill-Hill-Mitt as our populists become nonpersons. Obama is thrown into the mix only to maintain the illusion of a "real" contest.

Bill-Hill-Mitt understands the important role the scam plays in maintaining our economic prosperity. As capitalism ages and slowly sinks into a state of senility, it becomes even more desperate to maintain the unbridled growth that is its life blood. This requires that it moves its efforts from the manufacture of things to the manufacture of hot air. Hot air is what inflates the bubble, and a succession of bubbles is all that is keeping capitalism alive.

Bubbles are bullshit treated as gospel. They are mirages, pools of make-believe money, that dry up as quickly as they appear. We’ve gone from the dot.com bubble to the housing bubble to the credit bubble. In each, there is an uptick of make-believe wealth that disappears the second the bubble pops, and our corporatists once again scour that land looking for the next bubble.

And as our corporatists scurry and hustle, they will be comforted knowing that Bill-Hill-Mitt will continue the Pyrrhic Dance to the tumultuous cacophony of timbrels, fifes and flutes to keep the proles distracted while their pockets are picked clean.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones