Our Corporatist Divas: Hill and Bill

Dear George,

I have always been puzzled by the way your minions start foaming at the mouth every time Bill and Hill’s names come up. Thanks to them, America is now a one-party country ruled by a Corporatist Party that is, in turn, comprised of two factions: the cronies and the cavers. Were it not for them, partisan divisiveness would still sully the American political system.

It was Hill and Bill who led America down the primrose path of the new democracy in which the proles are free to consume while their corporate oligarchy makes all the tough decisions that are so necessary to keep the skids of political and economic power well lubed. As a political team, they outronnied Ronnie. They were the ones who attached the nuts and bolts to Ronnie's dream of gutting the New Deal.

It was Hill and Bill who brough us the 1996 Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act that threw welfare and our albatross of a social safety net into the recycling bin.

It was Hill and Bill who taught the mainstream media to acquire a taste for boot polish with their Telecommunications Act of 1996 that made possible the rise of a corporate media and in doing so morphed journalist into political hacks who repeat verbatim every word of bullshit that issues forth from the Oval Office.

It was Hill and Bill who gave America 1999’s Financial Services Modernization Act that threw out the protections of the onerous Glass-Steagall that had been keeping banks honest since the Great Depression. Thanks to them, the country is about to enter a second Great Depression as, once again, America has learned that banks and other financial institutions simply cannot handle freedom.

Finally, it was Hill and Bill who cleansed America of her gritty manufacturing sector with NAFTA. Not only did it shut down all those filthy factories, it assured Big Ag a pool of cheap labors as the act impoverished Mexico and sent its poor swarming over our borders to find work harvesting America’s produce.

America owes Hill and Bill a debt of gratitude that can never be repaid. It was they who turned freedom’s torch into a smudge pot that is slowly blackening the face of the earth even as it pumps black ink into the corporate bottom line.

They have given us much, and our Corporatists understand this as they pour more money into Hilliary’s coffers. Despite all their bluster, they recognize a good thing when they see it. As for me, every time I look at Hill I say, Thank God the United States finally has its Margaret Thatcher.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones