Responsibiliting Ourselves to Greatness

Dear George,

As we slide into our season of campaign madness, one word cries out for attention: “Responsible”. No matter where they are on the political spectrum, the welfare of the country demands candidates who behave and think responsibly. The responsible candidate is one who can make a slight change in direction without rocking the boat, one who revamps the status quo by preserving it.

The irresponsible candidate is one who talks about change and is serious about it. Clarity of vision usually sinks the irresponsible candidate. Unable to buy into the fashionable mythologies of the day, he discomforts the public with the truth, and with each truth he utters, the establishment cries “irresponsible”.

For example, Corporatists spasm when an irresponsible a candidate suggests that the antidote to terrorism is for American to play nice on the international stage. Such an approach would have a devastating effect on the bottom line. Military superpowers don’t play nice.

The irresponsible candidate fights tooth and nail for his principles and yields only when there is no other alternative. The responsible candidate throws his or her principles on the trash heap before the struggle has even begun in order to facilitate efficient decision making.

Responsible candidates triangulate and make an art of unprincipled repositioning. Principles are for marketing purposes only. For the responsible candidate they are handfuls of dirty coins tossed to the proles to keep them duly distracted.

To an irresponsible public agitated over the social injustice that has been the fad for the past twenty-plus years, the responsible candidate advises, “Medicate, don’t agitate. Let the youth of America lose itself in the ramped up decibels of an acid rage that spews itself into the night air before evaporating, while their parents fill their prescriptions for antidepressants and tranquilizers."

Responsible behavior has given us Iraq, a foreign policy that has made straight the way for repeated applications of the shock therapy (for which the world will thank us, someday in the far, far future), the exponential growth of the kleptrocracy, and a middle and working class that is learning all about the personal growth that comes with want.

The last thing America needs is an irresponsible president who would change all this. Structural Adjustment Programs (SAPs) are for Third World economies teetering on the brink of collapse. We have no need for a domestic one.

Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones